Being a young mother, put me in a place of wanting to get everything right about being a mom. It really was bad. I wanted to have the smartest, most talented, most everything kids.
But in reality it was anxiety and control. It was me trying to control who I wanted them to be or not to be. See, I wanted them to be better than me (like all parents) but I was also scared that they would be me or the like the other people I knew. I did not want them to take those wrong turns in life. I thought I knew which way the should go.
This is were the fear came in. It caused anxiety and stress. Because of the fear I felt like I had to control everything. And I do mean everything.
I had fear and love confused. As I evolved as a person I started to understand the difference and see what I was doing I took a step back. I listened more to my kids, I let go and gave them the opportunity to make their own choices.
This was a huge weight lifted off of me and them. The whole vibe and energy changed in the house. The kids were more open in communicating and sharing with me. The relationship shifted with us. The stress was gone, the anxiety was gone… it was just love.
What Parenting In Fear Looks Like:
It looks like perfection. Yeah like perfection, because that is all you see is how perfect everything is. Do you know someone like that?
It’s stress and anxiety. We all have stressful days and situations and thats not what I’m talking about. I am talking about everyday and everything is full of stress and anxiety.
Not accepting your child or their choices. Because you have better choices that they should do or you think they should do this instead of that.
Tips on Parenting In Love
Understand were the fear is coming from. Like I stated mine was coming from trying to avoid them from being like people I knew
Get Help/Share Your Feelings. I realized once I shared my feelings with a friend I felt better and we talked it out.
Accept that you are a good parent and that perfection does not exist.
Let Go. I had to let go and allow my kids to live and get things wrong and get things right.
Trust in their ability to do it.
I was parenting out of a place of fear. Now I’m working on being a mindful parent.
Can you relate? Have you let your own fears control how you parent your kids?